Are you looking to bully MPs into accepting your dangerous ideas? Would you like to steamroller the parliamentary process. Well, if you are a despot intent on wrecking democracy, you should create a manipulative opinion poll designed to guarantee a show of overwhelming support for your authoritarian proposals. Use the results of this survey to browbeat MPs into submission. If they still resist, simply mention that they'll be personally blamed for the next attack if they don't do as they're told. Their "objections" will soon disappear.
You know, call me unduly optimistic, but I really don't think it's going to wash this time. I get the feeling that the House isn't going to put up with it any more, especially on something as important as this. Let's hear it for the Conservative/Liberal Democrat/ decent Labour coalition. Only you can save us now.
Surveys are extraordinary things though. In Safety's one, it's clearly impossible to register that you'd like the government to combat terrorism but are opposed to the government's current proposals. Professional pollsters must be torn between despair and laughter. Still, it appears to be a legitimate tactic now.
Your views on your performance.What do you reckon? I'm tempted send it to Downing Street. Any suggestions for improvements before I give it a go?
The British public has asked you for your views on the threat you pose to us all. Please fill in this quick form below to tell us what you think.
You infamously said that the intelligence on Saddam's WMD was "extensive, detailed and authoritative". Was that:
Do you think UN weapons inspectors should have the time and opportunity to complete their investigations into suspected WMD programmes?
C) Not sure
Do you think the government should make sure there are new safeguards to ensure that vacuous, morally vacant, war happy PMs such as yourself are never again allowed into office?
C) Not sure
Would you like to be kept up-to-date on how many MPs have realised that you have become a liability to their careers?
Thank you for taking the time to answer these questions, Prime Minister. Your views are important to us.