Toothpick Instructions

Home Secretary John Reid has blamed the continuing problems at the Home Office on the collapse of the Soviet Union seventeen years ago. Yes, really.

How in the hell are you supposed to satirise that?

It might be possible, I suppose, but I can't quite see how. But then I'm not performing at my best at the moment. It's these headaches I've been getting. I've been plagued with them ever since I heard about the fall of the Roman Empire. Quite a shock it was, I can tell you...

In other news, it has emerged that Lord Levy's secretary was awarded an MBE in 2002, apparently for "charitable services". Strangely, when contacted by C4 News, Ms Cobb wasn't hugely forthcoming as to what those charitable services were:

Qu: What did you get your MBE for?

Ans: Just for the charities that Lord Levy is involved in. Jewish Care, the JFS, and CSV.

Qu: What were you nominated for?

Ans: I don't think I should be talking to you on this.

Qu: Did Lord Levy nominate you?

Ans: I don't know who was involved in nominating me.

Qu: Were you nominated for secretarial work?

Ans: It was a mixture of things. I can't really go into any detail.

Er, why not? Is it a state secret or what?

A statement was later released on Ms Cobb's behalf by Lord Levy's spokesman explaining er, something or other.

Isn't it amazing that Ms Cobb didn't know who had nominated her for an MBE? I think if I was ever nominated for an MBE, a fairly significant event in one's life I should imagine, I'd probably be curious enough to actually find out who had done it. It's hard to understand why Ms Cobb didn't bother to find out. To someone with a curious nature like myself, it almost seems unbelievable...

Wonko the Sane had the right idea. It may be time to build that asylum.

(Btw, I've no interest in actually receiving a bauble but I'd still want to know who'd nominated me. You'd expect that someone who actually went to the palace and everything might have been even more interested.)

Tags: News, Politics, New Labour Circus