Totally Above Board

If you catch someone with their hand in the till, the best strategy for a way forward is to allow them exclusive powers to design and implement reforms to your cash handling procedures. This gives the sticky fingered colleague confidence and builds trust.

Er, no. It's too late for that.

The new law is going to be tacked on to an already existing bill. I particularly like the goon's explanation for the rushed legislation.

When asked why the bill did not already include such a provision the spokesman said that "it was not a matter of concern until recently" and that now "we recognise there is a problem".

Says it all really. Eight years in power and they only feel the need to change the law after being caught out and having their "whiter than white" image exposed for the sham that it is. Too late. Much too late.

In other news, the child with the chocolate and cream covered face continues the search for the mysterious disappearing eclair. He strenuously denies the accusations that he has been involved in the unexplained absence of the cake.

A fox has started a new campaign to protect chickens. Speaking at a press conference today, the Fox, Mr Cunning, said that the welfare of chickens was his highest priority. When asked why he'd had to make his announcement through a mouthful of feathers, Cunning explained that his feather pillow had burst during the night.

A bear has started a new campaign to clear up neighbourhood woodlands. "Too many animals use these woods as a sort of public convenience" said Mr Crapper before heading off into the trees with a handful of dock leaves...

Tags: News, Politics, Money