That's what you need
Exciting news this week as Nick Cohen's strawman is widely rumoured to have reached record breaking proportions. Sources are claiming that it is now so large that it entirely obscures his view of reality.
Officials from the Brewers Book of Really Big Things were set to measure the strawman on Sunday but eventually had to admit defeat. Embarrassingly, they had not brought anything with them big enough to measure it with. In a statement, a spokeman for the famous reference work said that a custom built device was now under construction and that it may take weeks to complete.
Under questioning by our intrepid reporter, he was forced to concede that no-one had ever imagined you could build a strawman that big. He went on to stress that he could not officially confirm that a new record had been set until accurate measurements had been properly recorded.
"The truth is, this may be one of our greatest challenges" he added.
Another attempt to measure the strawman is expected sometime in early March.